当我们有意识地接近阴影时

原文

When we consciously approach the shadow, we examine a very powerful aspect of our personality that is almost universally shunned and avoided. And in this way, we enter the realm of paradox.
Paradox is that artesian well of meaning we need so badly in our modern world. All the great myths give instructions on this subject and remind us that the treasure will be found in one of the least likely or popular places. What good could come from your own shadow? Strangely, the best can come from this neglected quarter. We will go to almost any length to avoid this painful paradox; but in that refusal we only confine ourselves to the useless experience of contradiction. Contradiction brings the crushing burden of meaninglessness. One can endure any suffering if it has meaning; but meaninglessness is unbearable. Contradiction is barren and destructive, yet paradox is creative. It is a powerful embracing of reality. All religious experience in its historical form is expressed in paradox; observe the Christian creeds that have been formulated in such paradoxical language. While contradiction is static and unproductive, paradox makes room for grace and mystery.
Example: Every human experience can be expressed in terms of paradox. The electric plug in the wall has two prongs, access to a positive and negative electrical charge. From this opposition comes the usefulness of the electric current. Day is comprehensible only in contrast to night. Masculinity has relevance only in contrast to femininity. Activity has meaning only in relation to rest. Taste is a matter of contrasts. Up is only possible in the presence of down. What would north be without south? Where would I be without you? Where is joy not bounded by sobriety?
For some incomprehensible reason we often refuse this paradoxical nature of reality and, in an idiot moment, think we can function outside it. The very moment we do this, we translate paradox into opposition. When leisure is torn loose from work, both are spoiled. Personal suffering begins when we are crucified between these opposites. If we try to embrace one without paying attention to the other, we degrade paradox into contradiction. Yet both pairs of opposites must be equally honored. To suffer one's confusion is the first step in healing. Then the pain of contradiction is transformed into the mystery of paradox.

翻译

当我们有意识地接近阴影时,我们会检视到自己人格中极其有力的一面,而这几乎是人们普遍想要回避和避免的。由此,我们进入了悖论的领域。
悖论是意义的源泉,是我们在现代社会所急需的东西。所有伟大的神话,都说明了这个主题,并提醒我们,宝藏往往藏在最不可能,亦或是最平常的地方。
阴影能有什么好处?不可思议的是,其实最大的好处,就来自于这里,而我们却常常忽视这里。我们几乎拼尽全力避免痛苦的悖论;但是,在这种抗拒中,我们仅仅将自己限制在了对立的无意义体验之中。对立带来了无意义的沉重负担,它足以将人碾碎。
一个人可以忍受任何有意义的痛苦;但是无意义是无法忍受的。对立是贫瘠的、破坏性的,然而悖论是创造性的,它是对现实有力的拥抱。所有的宗教体验都以悖论的形式表现出来;去看看用似是而非的语言表述的基督教信条吧。对立是静止的、徒劳的,而悖论为优雅和神秘创造了空间。
举例来说:人类的体验都可以用悖论来表达。墙上的插座有两极,分别接到电源的正极与负极,而有用的电流就由此对立的两极所产生;与黑夜作对比,我们才能理解白天;男子气概,由女性气质的衬托而呈现;“动”相对于“静”才有意义;品味是由对比而产生;若没有“下”也不会有“上”;如果没有“南”,那“北”又是什么?如果没有你,我又在哪里?而没有平静,哪儿又有快乐?
由于一些难以理解的原因,我们常常抗拒现实的悖论性,甚至愚蠢到,以为自己可以存在于它之外。当我们这样做,这时,我们就将悖论转化为对立。当我们被钉死在对立的十字架上时,自身的痛苦便开始了。如果我们试着拥抱其中一个而忽视另一个,那我们就会将悖论降格为对立。其实,我们要平等接受正反两极。忍受困惑是治愈的第一步,然后对立的痛苦才会转化为悖论的奥秘。

备注:作者并未理解悖论(Paradox)真正的意义,本文中的悖论,可以勉强理解为“一元性”。

出处

《拥抱阴影(Owning Your Own Shadow)》,罗伯特·约翰逊(Robert A. Johnson),美国心理学家,乌姆普夸社区大学心理学教师,在安普夸社区学院教授普通心理学长达28年。他创立了西北太平洋卓越教师研讨会,并担任其主席职务长达20年。他也是美国社区大学心理学教师协会的创立者之一。
这本书探索人格黑暗或隐藏的那一面——它是什么、它的起源、它如何形成,以及它如何能被用来让人格变得完整。

解读

我的内心中,有各种不同的我。
我把我认为好的那些,拿出来、展现出来,把那些我认为不好的部分,压抑住、隐藏起来。
久而久之,压抑的、隐藏的,越来越多,而我,也因为不愿意面对,下意识忘记了这些处在阴影中的我,但它们仍然还是我的一部分,以我无法察觉的方式,影响着我。
表面的我与阴影的我,就像一枚硬币的两面,分别有着不同的特质,而且相互依存。
在我看不到这一点时,我视阴影为敌人与问题,面对它,我抗拒而憎恨,却无论如何都无法战胜,疲惫不堪,因为我根本不可能打败我自己。
当我看到这一点时,我视阴影为朋友与空间,面对它,我接纳而充满喜悦,解脱了自己,打开了通往更多可能性的大门,感叹自己终于与自己和解。

总结

接纳阴影。

拓展阅读

The mark of a first rate mind is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
同时保有全然相反的两种观念,还能正常行事,是第一流智慧的标志。
——F. Scott Fitzgerald

对立:二者不能同时为真。
例:这把刀,能斩开所有的盾;这面盾,能挡住所有的刀。
 
悖论:不能为真,也不能为假。
例:这句话是假的。
 
——个人笔记

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